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the occasional rambles, happenings, and thoughts of yours truly
content warning for swearing, ranting, and vents from time to time

i'm feeling: The current mood of draco at www.imood.com
(might not be accurate, probably gonna
forget to update this sometimes lol)

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12-31-2022 / 11:19 pm / feeling over it
2022 has to have been the worst year of my life so far. which sucks, because a lot of good things happened too, some of which i've been hoping for for years and yet... they're tainted, now.

i graduated highschool with the worst academic performance of my life. i got a girlfriend, then broke up a few months later. (no hard feelings) i went to disney world, and spent most of the time stressed out and miserable. i got a job, but lost a cat. i formed new friendships and mourned lost ones. something good, something bad, something good, something bad. that's just how my life works, but this year it seemed more intense than usual.

i don't really know what to say here. thanks to everyone who's stuck around, to everyone who i've met in the past year, to all of you. and good fucking riddiance, 2022. 2023? come at me, bitch.

7-27-2022 / 10:47 am / feeling uhh good i guess ive only been awake for like an hour lol
WHOO BOY IT'S BEEN A WHILE HUH. a lot has happened in the past... 5 months? so i'm just gonna do a list idk

mkay gonna start with the less than great things

  • my paternal grandmother passed away in like december, i dont think i mentioned that here; wasn't too close to her but still sad :[
  • my best friend from school moved away and i havent talked to them in months bc we are both terrible at starting conversations even online lol. i miss them a lot tho
  • failed five classes first semester and at least two in the second so i am very familiar with founders education (lots of retakes.) anywaays fml
  • barely managed to graduate high school; i didnt even finish my graduation cap design and spent most of the ceremony trying very hard not to burst into tears
  • became involved with yet another pair of friend groups that hate each other. like this keeps happening to me for some reason, there'll be two groups of people who used to be friends but now the leaders have beef w each other so they split up and i manage to befriend/stay friends with people in both
  • one of my favorite online games got shut down, rip fer.al :[[[
  • got covid on literally the first day of art fight and it's still fucked me up like it's been almost four weeks and i'm still too exhausted to do af rip
  • managed to become my dad's worst enemy not once but twice in the span of about a week. second time was two days ago
  • spent too many hours working on a meiker.io project only to realize that the file size is too big for the website to handle. currently trying to fix this but god my hands hurt
  • continued to be a disappointment to my family and friends. sigh

now the good stuff

  • actually graduated high school!!! thats better than nothing
  • made some cool friends in the spamton fandom :] he is my newest blorbo from my video games
  • met an actual imagineer from hollywood studios!!! he hosted a lecture at the college i went to for senior year and i got to talk to him afterwards which was super cool
  • volunteered as an assistant to the art teacher at my old elementary school which was really fun, also i'm pretty sure i'm her favorite student she's had so hehe
  • actually got a job at said elementary school during their summer theater camps! i was the prop master so basically i spent four weeks covered in paint and slapping together whatever materials they had into cool costume bits and props lol. they did moana (one of my favorite movies!!) and beauty and the beast (which i was in in like 8th grade lol) for the plays which was super cool
  • got a neocities supporter membership and made a whole new haunted mansion fan site!!! still a very big work in progress at the time of this entry but i'm excited to work on it :]
  • got some kickass monster paw gloves and wore em to a local comic con which was really fun
  • managed to obtain a hardcover collection of the haunted mansion slg comic series!! (if you have no idea what those are ive talked about them here) was worth the $130 lmao
  • started dating someone!!!! her name is bunny and she's super cool and fun and talent and aaaaaahskfabjsdbgjks :heart: we've been watching the owl house together bc she's never seen it before and it's just been really fun eheheh

so yeah!! that's what's been going on with me lately. i'm going on vacation in a few days actually so i'm pretty excited for that too! thanks for reading this lol, hope you've been doing well too :]

2-25-2022 / 10:47 pm / feeling hbjkagjksgksd
again. neglecting this blog a lot lmaoooo oh well. anyways the past two days have been a freaking. emotional rollercoaster. let's see... (i uh. theres mentions of like death for a bit so sorry dont read if thats something sensitive to ya qwq)

well! there's a freaking war going on in europe, anti-lgbt bills being brought up a few states over, i'm failing most of my classes, my parents want me to drop out and get a job instead, and last night i though my friend had died. yeah he wasn't responding and had something concerning as his discord status so i got like seriously concerned and pretty much panicked for most of the evening. thankfully he's okay, but i remembered he's a country away from where all the war stuff is going on and like... how do you help someone who's dealing with that. on the other side of the world. what do you say. or do. i don't know. i'm so sorry.

hhhhhhhhhhhooo boy okay brighter side of things. buncha fandom stuff (monument mythos finale, haunted mansion movie release date, something else i forgor) happened which is neat, and today i got my first a+ grade of the year! i did a poster assignment for typography class, and the teacher actually said it was the best one out of the entire class hehehehe >:] i also showed him one of my old sketchbooks because he asked to see some of my other work, and he showed another professor who was like a professional illustrator or something and they were both super impressed like!!!! aaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!

so yeah that's been my life lately. fun. goodnight i guess

10-14-2021 / 10:53 pm / feeling tired but!! happy ig :]
WOW i have been really neglecting this blog lately huh!! been meaning to catch up but. whatever

anyways! today is my 18th birthday, wohooo!!!! honestly i'm both excited and conflicted about this tbh. like hell yeah! independence and. i dunno but at the same time,, im technically an adult??? and i don't like that!!! i still feel like a young teen ngl sndldgskls i don't think im mature enough for this yet... i remember being like 11 and going "man i can't wait to be 18 and be independent and do Adult Stuff tm!!" like. no you don't!! you do not want to be old and scared of losing touch with your younger friends and having responsibilities and regrets piling up every day!!! anyways. i'm tired as heck good night

6-21-2021 / 10:51 am / feeling okay
well, last day of school was today, yayyyy. it was just half a day of going to our classes and just sitting there, very boring idk why we even did it. anyways! it's been. a rough year for me tbh. probably the worst of my life, tbh; so many bad things happened to me and it's just uuuuuuuugh

let's see... for one thing, one of my main friend groups split apart due to my friend's awful ex who literally just showed up for not even a few months (he wasn't even a haunted mansion fan i don't think), and when they broke up half my friends took his side and left and he sent death threats to the main friend until she deleted her blog + then the whole discord server we were in, basically deleting 2 years of good memories and leaving nothing. it's just a few of us left, and it's so... not the same. so boring, almost; it's not fun anymore tbh, no jokes, just one new person who periodically posts articles about thm, uses gifs like a facebook mom, always manages to force her ocs into conversation, and looooooves complaining about "drama" and "karens" and "cancel culture". she seems nice, but... god. anyways long story short tumblr user @superstarlimo aka dex can go fuck himself and i hope his life is miserable, if anyone's in the mood to send some hate mail i highly reccommend /hj redacted for personal reasons lol

on top of that, not once but twice i had computers with important files wiped irreversably as well as something important in an online game thing i'd grown attached to, every good thing i was looking forward to that was supposed to happen in the last year and few months didn't, and above all it was the worst performance i've ever had in my academic career. so yeah. ohhhhhhh welllllllll. at least some good things happened; i met my two current best friends, made/developed a lot of character stuff, some cool fandom-related things happened... i guess that's the silver lining or something.

i don't know where i'm going with this, i just wanted to put it somewhere. goodnight

6-19-2021 / 12:13 am / feeling exhausted, but relieved
yo! it's been a while haha. today was my last day on campus at my school, and it's pretty much my last day there entirely because i'll be at a different campus for senior year which makes me a lil nervous bsdjkgngs. i didn't do so well this year, which i'm really not proud of, but it's been a tough year and few months honestly... anyways! so, funny story: i spent like. two hours or so trying to make a no PHP fanlisting for the haunted mansion, and halfway through i find out one already exists! man. i'm still gonna finish mine, but it's kinda funny how i manage to find one now after never seeing one before today. ah well. i did join that one, actually. it's at pepper's ghost here. and i just looked at it and it's older than my sister??? 2006???? how did i never manage to find it what

well, i should really go to bed now haha. goodnight/day dear reader :) (oh and by the way, expect more site stuff now that school's out! i've got the aforementioned fanlisting (and possibly another) in the works, along with the clicker game i started a few days ago!)

6-6-2021 / 10:54 pm / feeling kinda nervous abt some things lol
hiiii again! sorry for not writing, this week's been kinda boring lmao. anyways today i went out with some family members (except my parents, surprisingly) on a boat ride bc my aunt and uncle bought a boat for some reason. i originally didn't want to go bc i'm not a big fan of boats and being on the water, but it was actually pretty fun!! we went down the hudson river, through nyc. there were snacks and a really cool cabin downstairs so i enjoyed it more than i thought lol. anyways that's about it, but... uh the fashion comp i entered is doing judging rn and i haven't been looking, but i think i mayyyyyy have just gotten eliminated :( ah well, i had fun, but still a bummer. anyways! gn to whoever's reading this haha

5-29-2021 / 11:48 pm / feeling tiiiired i should really go to bed lol
yo!! long time no entry! so today was my dad's birthday, but we didn't really do much other than have dinner. i made a tres leches cake with a beach themed topper which was super cute :] after that i finally managed to get after effects running on my computer, so i made this!! i'm really proud of it, will def be doing more with after effects in the future since i have it for like almost a year which is neat. also today was the fourth anniversary/bday of the first appearance of some of my fav fictional characters, blue and yellow zircon from steven universe! two days after my oc, greenie (green zircon), who was inspired by blue. happy (late) bday greenie :] gonna go to bed now, see ya! :heart: (still gotta find a cute heart emoji for this lol)

5-22-2021 / 10:46 pm / feeling fine
ahhh today was. decent yknow? pretty good tbh. oh so we did start doing fantasy art in that class i was talking about but guess what? it's literally just taking a preexisting piece of character art (like a video game/anime screenshot) and redrawing it on paper. not making original artwork. sigh. i couldn't even figure out what pic to choose bc all i know are pixel video games and unshaded cartoons (also couldn't do haunted mansion bc the poses have to be ~complex and dynamic~) smh. oh wellllllll.

anyways the rest of the day was good. visited my grandma bc she just got back from the hospital (doing fine, thankfully! i love her) and that was pretty much it tbh. i should really sleep now, i was tired like all day and i have school stuff to work on tomorrow lol. good niiiiight :]

5-21-2021 / 11:47 pm / feeling good!! tired but good
hi hello i'm back! sorry meant to write yesterday but eh. anyways! sooo about the last post, i vented about all that stuff to my dad n it really helped :] pro tip: talking to ppl about your problems helps, even just a little bit. had an ap exam on the 19th, that was fuuuuunnnnnn /s. whatevs, totally didn't check my textbook at all. so yeah.

school was boring as usual, but the full version of miitopia came out today which is cool!!! haven't actually bought it yet but i finished the demo earlier. we have a horse now :] her name is drekkie, was originally gonna be drachorse lmao. god i love that game, still gotta finish my shrine page for it,,, highly recommend playing, either on switch or 3ds!

okay enough rambling about miitopia, haha. gotta go to bed, have an art class thing in the morning ughghskdghksl... hopefully we'll get to do something other than still lifes this class, i was promised a fantasy art portion dammit. well, goodnight! take care of yourself dear reader :3 (need a heart emoji that doesn't mess with the html editor's sensors... also does anyone actually read these? if you do you're awesome ty lol)

5-17-2021 / 4:08 pm / feeling like i want to maul my laptop and maybe hit something really hard <3

ohoho. oh boy. i am SO angry rn :) i'm mad at school, mad at my chromebook, mad at my parents, mad at the school system, mad at ap exams (ap classroom in particular), you get the picture. god. i want to learn, i really do! but not like this. nooooo mx. i'll watch hours worth of random youtube documentaries, spend a day or two learning javascript and html for the hell of it, maybe teach myself a new art technique just from looking at examples, but if i have to deal with this stupid fkcin school system for any longer i'm gonna snap. i really am. my mom isn't helping, she just makes it worse. i hate it. i want it to be over but if the year ends now my final grades are gonna be shit so that's like the only reason why i'm still even thinking of trying. oh remember how all that good stuff happened to me two days ago? karma time baby lmaoooo

sorry this entry's so... negative and violent but i had to get this out. sorry.

5-16-2021 / 10:28 pm / feeling good ig
welp. ive been playing minecraft on the netescape server all day so im Tired lol. other than that nothing much. got me thinking abt how i kinda want to start some smp server and maybe stream, i have software that can be used to do like vtuber avatars and my irl friend does livestreams too... hrm. well, goodnight for now i guess!! <3

5-16-2021 / 12:13 am / feeling AAAAAA!!! /pos
AKFSKLF OK SO. today was mostly eh, but like... in the past 6 hours two really good things have happened to me and im still processing it!! first the bjd i ordered came earlier than i expected which was super cool!! i'll add pics to my doll shrine soon, but she's a luka doll by psychonautic in this rly pretty light blue color. it was super hard to put her together (bought an unfinished kit version bc cheaper) but def worth it, she's gorgeous!!!

then i got a message saying i had gotten into the animal crossing design competition i auditioned for!! like, WHAAAAT- i'm so excited!! ive never taken part in anything like it before so i'm really looking forward to it ahhh!!

okay i should probably go to bed now... goodnight dear reader, i hope something great happens to you soon!

5-14-2021 / 9:09 pm / feeling pretty good!
meant to make a post for yesterday, oops... anyways, went to a family gathering yesterday which was really nice!! also got to skip school because of it >:] today was good too, nothing too notable tbh. tbh that's pretty much it for today, i feel like i had something else i wanted to write but i forgot lol. well, to whoever's reading this, have a good day/night/time! :]

5-12-2021 / 6:25 pm / feeling not great!
i can't believe it's gotten even worse(tm)! again, not goin' into detail but. this really hasn't been my month, has it... hasn't been my year either. isn't that the friends theme song or something? idk, never watched the show. anyhoot. i should really be working on stuff right now, might do a double post today or something haha. well, see ya.
5-12-2021 / 10:57 pm / feeling eh
i told ya i'd be back for another post, hehe. anyways, uh, honestly nothing too interesting to report, but... i am working on something new and hopefully kinda cool for the site so stay tuned ig :] goodnight dear reader, hope you've had a good day/night/whatever time it is for you rn!

5-11-2021 / 9:30 pm / feeling stressed as hecc
ahh well this blog's off to a fun start isn't it... anyways, this might be a long one, sorry haha. won't go into details but this school year's been pretty darn bad, to say the least. this year, really. but that's actually not what i wanted to write about- lost track already klajsfklf. okay, so it might sound weird, but i believe my life has a sort of karma system going on. basically whenever something good happens to me, something bad of approximately equal and opposite magnitude has to happen afterwards and vice versa. like for example, when i go out shopping to my favorite mall and have a great day, i get sick the day afterward. i finish a project i'm really happy with, only to have my grades come crashing down the next day. things like that. the second example just happened, which is just. yaaaay. ah well, i'm gonna try my best for the rest of this school year, i guess... haven't been too successful but the year's not over yet!

and to you, the reader: i hope the rest of this week is kind to you! keep going, i believe in you! you can do it!!

5-10-2021 / 9:18 pm / feeling okay
it's my site's 1 month birthday!! i've been wanting to do a blog sort of thing so i figured why not start today :] i dunno what i'll be posting abt here yet, but stay tuned i guess lol.

^ ^ ^ that's all folks ^ ^ ^